Suppose you’re the Secret Service, and you don’t like the windy mofo.

You’re an honorable person. You took the job, you made an oath, and you take that seriously. No way you’re going to just pop a cap; it violates your oath, makes a mess, and jeapordizes your retirement. But you’d like a way to express your resentment. It has to be subtle and deniable — even to yourself — something you can reply to questions about with Calvin eyes and “jus’ doin’ my job.”

Maybe Turn the handle the way it goes, only more so. (Thank you, E. F. Russell.)

When the President or other Government officials travel there has to be security. It’s been a long time since Thomas Jefferson, bachelor, could simply stroll across the street to the Willard for dinner and a chat with the other guests, and while the absolute time is less, it’s almost as far psychically since Bill Clinton went jogging, maybe to stop for a latte on the way. Nowadays they have to clear the area, doing their best to make sure there aren’t any snipers, bomb- (or pie-)throwers, IEDs, or people with real or imagined grievances and sharp sticks. It used be called sanitizing the area, and maybe still is. And you’re Secret Service. You swore an oath, and you can’t skimp on your responsibilities.

But you can exceed them, can’t you? This intersection needs to be cleared for the motorcade; you won’t get many questions if you clear the whole street, both ways, and post officers to make sure there’s no encroachment, just in case. There’s all kinds of people flying around in airplanes, and some of them might be grumpy and/or opportunist, so you’ll get grumbles but no serious objections when you simply declare that air traffic isn’t allowed while the President is around, just in case, and if you extend the TFR zone just a teensy bit farther than is really necessary, well, airplanes move pretty fast and go a long way, don’t they?

This is not to say people are going to enjoy it, of course, but it’s dangerous out there, and people will understand you’re just trying to minimize it. What the hey, you might even bring people together a bit, a worthwhile goal in these troubled times, innit? You can do it again any number of times, too.

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