That statement is always a lie, you know.

TSA workers don’t like their new working conditions, which are so tough that suggestions are being made that they should be offered support from “mental health professionals” — which is to say, some shrink(s) ought to be offered a fat Government contract to help them feel comfortable with their new duties.

Got news, guys, actually two pieces of news.

First, we don’t want you feeling comfortable with your new duties. Gary Larson and his publisher don’t allow The Far Side to be posted on the Internet, or I would insert or link the famous cartoon: a dungeon complete with manacles, Iron Maiden, and the like; next to the door, a coffee/tea service surrounded by mugs with amusing slogans on; above that, a “motivator” with a replaceable strip: CONGRATULATIONS [–BOB–] TORTURER OF THE MONTH!

That’s what we think of you.

Your defense, of course, is that you’re just following orders. That isn’t going to work. In the first place, your bosses are going to run like the rats they are, leaving you swinging in the wind. In the second place, “chust followink orders” hasn’t been a sufficient defense anywhere in the Western world since 1947.

Second, we have a system here in the United States called “employment at will”. It comes in two parts: if your employer doesn’t like what you’re doing you can be fired; and if you don’t like the job or the working conditions you can quit. It is perfectly symmetrical, and wails about inability to find a decent job in this horrid economy aren’t taken very seriously from people who are doing their best to make the economy worse by adding unbearable burdens to necessary commerce. We also have free speech here, and TSA is not, by specific statute, military, so you are entitled to both complain and quit. They can fire you for speaking out, but they can’t send you to jail.

So if you don’t like it, quit. You don’t need a shrink. You need a different job.

Stoaty Weasel asks on Twitter, What’s gonna happen when all the TSA employees who hate touching people’s junk have quit?

That’s easy. When all the people at TSA who aren’t perverts have quit, we can hang the remainder with a clear conscience.